i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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