She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
