Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
