check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
