Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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