so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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