..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
