I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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