When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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