Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
