already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm too high and old for this...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
