Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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