I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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