My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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