yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
