Don't you send me to vm
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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