so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
