If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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