I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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