Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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