I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
