Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
