yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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