my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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