while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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