i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I deserve this hangover.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
