so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
