I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize