pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
