I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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