3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
