Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
