ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nutella sex= disaster
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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