i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
