can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Damn victory sex feels great
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
