I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
third nipple confirmed
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How naked do you want me to be?
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