Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
