you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
