Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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