I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize