fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
