They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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