Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize