sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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