I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Boobs are out for the taking
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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