he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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