I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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