we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
