explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
