You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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