In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
