Say something about gay babies.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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