also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
